Monday, August 17, 2009

Missing Grandmom

Over the weekend we met Ed's brother and his family at Granddad's house. It had been a little while since we all had gone for a visit on the same weekend. Gabrielle had fun playing with her cousin. The dads took them to the park while me and Aunt T stayed at the house to play with Samantha. It was a short visit but still a very nice one.

Being there with Samantha for only the second time since she was born, however, really got me to thinking about Grandmom. Ed's mom passed away last October. Even though she had been sick for a while, for me the last two weeks of her life caught me off guard. It happened just too quickly to even try to wrap my head and heart around it. We had only known we were expecting Samantha for about a month and Gabrielle had just celebrated her second birthday. I was too caught up in the happiness of the moments to even try to deal with any other possibility.

Being at the house and seeing all the photos of Grandmom with the other grandkids made me really sad. I couldn't help but wonder what she would think of Samantha - who by the way has Grandmom's name as her middle name. Would she think Samantha looks - like me or Ed? I could imagine what Grandmom would say when she heard Samantha's little giggle and saw her sweet smile. I knew Grandmom would find Gabrielle's dancing and singing and all of her performances as sweet and amusing as I do. I'm sad that Gabrielle is too young to have the memories of Grandmom's weekly visits, each time bringing her a new book. I'm sad that while we at least have pictures to show and the stories to tell Gabrielle, we won't have the same to show and tell Samantha.

Even though I am sad about all the moments Grandmom will miss, I know she is in a better place. I also like to think she can look down on us from time to time to watch her grandkids grow.

Grandmom, Gabrielle, & Granddad - October 2007

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